Kids Life Coaching for children who always want to be in control

Anxiety can manifest in many ways in children, and one area we see often when coaching children is the need to be in control. This need for control often stems from a child's desire to create predictability and security in their world, especially when they are feeling anxious or uncertain. Like the 6 year old I coached who had just acquired a new baby brother or the 11 year old who had just lost her mother to Cancer. 

Why are these children like this?

Children who experience anxiety no matter where that stems from, often feel overwhelmed by their emotions. They may struggle to understand why they feel the way they do, leading to a heightened need for control as a means to manage their anxiety. By controlling their environment, they aim to prevent or manage situations that may trigger their anxiety.

Here are some tips for Kids Life Coaches to support these children:

1. Create a Safe Space: Ensure the child feels safe and secure in their environment. This can help reduce their anxiety and, consequently, their need to control.

2. Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their anxiety and reassure them that it's okay to feel anxious. This validation can help them feel understood and supported.

3. Teach Coping Strategies: Equip them with coping strategies such as deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, or progressive muscle relaxation. These techniques can help them manage their anxiety in a healthy way.

4. Encourage Flexibility: Gently introduce change into their new routine to help them become more adaptable. Start with small changes and gradually introduce bigger ones as they become more comfortable.

5. Promote Self-Efficacy: Encourage them to take on tasks they can handle on their own. This can boost their confidence and reduce their anxiety.

6. Seek Professional Help if Needed: If a child's anxiety and need for control are significantly impacting their life, it may be helpful to seek the assistance of a mental health professional.

Remember, as Kids Life Coaches, our role is to guide and support these children as they navigate their feelings of anxiety. When I was supporting my 6 year old and how to navigate his new baby brother and the 11 year old grieving her mother, my role was to show them the circle of control. By giving them the tools to control their inside world they were able to cope better with their outside world.  

This is why as Kids Life Coaches, it is important that we respect and understand a child's need for control. By providing them with the tools to manage their anxiety, we can help them lead more balanced and fulfilling lives. This is never a linear approach and every child is different but with our Play Based Coaching System®, we are able to quickly and easily support a child to relax and release their need to control.